omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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