Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
