she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Farmville is her only friend.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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