He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
