the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
