I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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