I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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