i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
