So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
