At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
