so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
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he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
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Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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