Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
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Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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