Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
