Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
