There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
