ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
