Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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