Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize