So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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