listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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