Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
