great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
