When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
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I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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