CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
