so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
