The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
