Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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