using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
