this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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