Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
