I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
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You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
try to milk me bitch
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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