HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We need to rekindle our bromance
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
