It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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