I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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