Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
