john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
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Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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