were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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