I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
