Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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