What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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