Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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