We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
