I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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