I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
