I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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