well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We need to feng shui this bitch.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
