Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
