everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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