Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
