it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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