At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
