We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
