i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
