i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
