I puked a lego.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
