I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
