I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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