May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
