I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
