Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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