When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
